Coz When You’re Hungry…

Lafayette, IN

October 2008

Several weeks ago, I opened my front door to leave and I saw this:

No, no, not the newspaper. Look closer.

Yes, that’s a can of Vienna sausages.

And it was empty.

That dark circle just above it is what I imagine was the leftover…uuh, liquid? What kind of liquid would that be, I wonder? Anyway…I guess when you’re hungry for some Vienna sausges, you just can’t wait to get home.

You Might Want to Call Someone About That

Of course, I mean the translation. See someone about the translation. Yeesh, you people have dirty minds.

Philippines, 2008

This must be near the Viargra factory.

This was sent to me by my sister, who lives in Davao City, Philippines, but it was sent to her by her father-in-law who lives in Manila. This was near his house, apparently.

Does it make it any funnier to know that he & his wife are missionaries?

Where do they keep the Cereals in the Dewey Decimal System?

Saw this in the lobby of Stewart Hall at Purdue on my way to HSSE library. I was on crutches then so it must have been taken in early 2007.

Do these go with Periodicals?

I sat down at this fabric-draped table to take a call. I’m not sure why a festive table was in the lobby, but I sure was happy to sit down. Then I kicked the cereal container with the foot I had in a cast & forgot all about how un-friendly Purdue’s campus is to differently-abled bodies. I’m fairly certain this was some Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I was talking to someone on the phone about who knows what, but I remember thinking, “I wonder who would abandon some Cinnamon Toast Crunch?”

Tales from the Halls of QVC

This isn’t a photo, but it’s a story from my pal Fran. We met at QVC when we both worked there in the early 2000s. If only I could have a bank of photos of weird things from THOSE days….

Alas.

Anyway, I left to go do whatever it is I do and she’s still there, keeping the universe from cracking in two. Yesterday she sent me this e-mail about an occurance that..uh…occurred recently at the Q.

And I quote….

No, we’re not selling venison.  A deer actually busted through an office window today at QVC and ran through part of the building.  I’m sharing this with yous guys in case you hear the story elsewhere and get the wrong info.  If you don’t want details or are easily offended or otherwise disturbed by scared-and-injured animal stories (or for those of you who work there with me and you don’t give a $quat what happens when you’re not clocked in), rest assured that the deer really was dealt with humanely and is now in a better place and stop reading this now.  Just feel compelled to share because the poor thing ran right past me on my way to lunch and there are a few misleading news stories in circulation.

It’s mating season, QVC’s headquarters are in a woodsy area, and the exterior of the office areas of the building are lined with large, reflective plate glass windows.  People figure he saw his reflection, decided to protect his turf, and rammed the window.  He then ran through an office area (merchandising), down a large hallway towards the center of the building into a large atrium, right past where I happened to be at that moment on my way to the cafeteria (could have reached out and touched him), down the hallway I’d just gone through, and ended up in a small-ish meeting area where all of the other doors were closed and he was quickly confined.

Within minutes, Security sedated him, other than the deer no one was injured.  A little while later, PA Game Commissioners took the sedated buck out of the building and “put it down because it had suffered major injuries during the ordeal”.  Which it had.  People don’t belong in large glass boxes, animals doubly so.

Despite Fox News‘s “thorough” reporting —THAT’S SARCASM, I’M JOKING, FOX NEWS BLOWS CHUNKS, there’s proof in the link at the end of this email, I recommend you watch the video with one eye closed lest the blazing stupidity blind you — the TRUTH of the matter is that it happened very quickly, the poor thing only “ran around inside” the building for less than 2 minutes, NOT an hour.  And his initial injuries from breaking the glass window upon entering the building were definitely apparent when he passed by me.

I – skip this part if you don’t want graphic detail, go to the next paragraph — I’ll wait….  okay — was almost to the atrium and noticed a few people on the other side of the open area suddenly get startled and make like they were going to run.  I walked into the atrium, looked over in the direction they were looking in, and saw a six point buck running in my direction.  I got the hell out of the way and he made a right turn, slid a bit on the smooth terrazzo flooring they have there, and slammed in to a large window (without breaking it) that houses part of the library area in our building.  He was bleeding from a mouth injury pretty severely when he passed me, and when he hit the window the tip of one of his antlers broke off and skittered past me into the atrium.  He kept running down that hall which ends in a “cyber cafe”, a common area where there are some computers, some TVs, some furniture, vending machines, etc.  All of the other double doors that lead into this room were closed, so he was enclosed there for a very short time until Security tranquilized him and Animal Control was called in.

The end.  No hour-long trauma, as the story below says.  If I were to walk the distance that deer travelled, it would take me 2 minutes.  He didn’t suffer long, is my point.

Link to Stupid McDooDooHead’s “report” (the written article is pretty much the same as the video) :

http://www.myfoxphilly.com/myfox/pages/News/Detail?contentId=7798640&version=4&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=3.1.1

So therrya go.  …guess I gotta give some credit to the news people, at least they’ve perfected the art of ending a story and moving on… ehh….

Reporting from Glen Mills,

– Fran

I feel really bad for the deer. Really. I’m a vegetarian. I don’t wear leather. I support a ban on animal testing.

But I love that Fran was a witness to the whole insane ballet.

Ice Cream? Yeah!

On the pay kiosk in the Grant Street Garage, Purdue University

I think this was taken some time in 2006. I forget. It may actually be what began this nonsense and not the sign in the Ladies room or the shoes on the electrical wire.

Ice Cream? Yeah!

 

I love that the writer decided to go with the visual rhetoric (image of the cone) rather than the all-too-cliche words. I mean, you see that image of the cone and you Just. Have. To. Have. Some. Ice. Cream. YEAH!